“Fabricats Varsity Cross Country” (which was just Lukas and me today) went running. When we got to the bug-field where we do the other exercises I did extra lunges because a fractured scapula prevents push ups.

Walking back, we erupted into goofy dance moves when DIESEL DUDES came on my phone. Storm clouds gathered and it started pouring. We watched rain travel along the river as the storm hit.

Later Alexis, Lukas, and I went to Django for exquisite bread from the former-architect baker, who is also an angel. Also cheap local organic wine, and vegetables. Biking on cobblestone in post-storm weather we got a fancy gelato.

The sunlit afternoon apartment was too hot once again and I gave Alexis and Jonas haircuts + some of the wine “senza sulfiti”

They both left (with good haircuts) and I sauteed vegetables to put on the good bread, worked on music, and got bitten by mosquitos until it was time to go to sleep.


It is very hot and I alone witness the moment of death for many small flies who line the bottom of the computer screen.

I laughed to myself about how much alcohol I consumed. When you bring only a fiver to the bar to keep from over drinking and overspending that does not take into account that everyone else is gonna wanna get you wasted anyway.

Never Have I Ever is such a transparent game, and anyone suggesting that that game be played is also transparent. “Hello group, just wanted to talk about sex and drugs in this format that permits such conversation.” “Hello other bodies will anyone touch mine tonight?”

Anyway, I am an open-blog but also think there is value to secrecy. Even if secrets are told involuntarily through our heart rates etc. 

Today I: cleaned the kitchen, made spaghetti and vegetables, journaled, feel terrible, took a nap, woke up to Alexis coming home, went out for a spritz with Alexis/Jonas/Lukas, worked on my noise track, and went to sleep.


Goofy giddy like dancing on the roof at sunrise to a rotating DJ set of whoever’s phone isn’t out of battery, and everyone’s sweaty bodies hugging each other.

Lukas and I had been circling everyone with our bikes yelling: “TEAM SHARKS! TEAM SHARKS!” Doing wheelies and racing like very smart and cool interaction designers.

Earlier in the day:

  • Made a spreadsheet of possible travel plans for August with Kristen.
  • Akanksha and I laughed loudly and biked slowly from Mensa. It was a mensa miracle day. There were beans, peas, and a cous cous with mixed vegetables. “Sit down with a cold beer and write to anyone who might be able to help you with grad school funding” said Akanksha. “Don’t delay.”
  • Dani put on my desk what I assumed what a rejection letter from the Finnish grant. The letter was all in Finnish. I walked through the grass and overbearing sun to Antti’s studio where this was confirmed. We looked through the government’s job search engine and Antti said “You could work at Tacobell.”
  • Wrote every message I could think of, trying to craft an overlapping set of options for my future.
  • Biking back, getting dishwasher tablets and vodka. In the group chat (010101010101010) the Celtic bar was presented as the option. I laughed at the decorative pans and American pop music videos. We all made fun of Americans.
  • A bunch of people were doing a marathon. Lukas and I went swiftly through the finish line, yelling and laughing. We literally amplify each other.
  • The bar on the wall. The Spanish guy brought chips thanks to the Spanish girls at our table (and the Spanish language).
  • The two nordics said we had to party all night and wear flower crowns and find a place to have a bonfire, but Jonas left early. Jenny left after 2 pitchuers of Sprtiz Aperol.
  • The rest of us played “Never Have I Ever.” I have done it all. JK, I’ve never been to the movies.


Adding this nectarine to my list of things that are perfect.”

Monica called me to her office to ask why I was here, when my doctor’s note says I should be resting for 20 days. I told her I couldn’t read Italian. She said I should be wearing different shoes and a sling, to bring my original receipts from the hospital tomorrow. I said I would be in Barcelona, she gave me an incredulous mom-look.

“I have to go to Sonar”

“Ah, you must be going with Akanksha. You two are good friends aren’t you? Always making trouble”

XX Fabricat

It was a sunny day and I felt the tragedy of summer. Then I saw it in the form of a beautiful black cat, dead in a puddle of fresh blood on a residential street. A stranger was going the opposite direction on their bike. We made sad, serious eye-contact.

Along with being hot, the air at Fabrica was heavy, at least among those who had seen the cat. People mentioned it all day. Of course it was funny for me to see these same people eating meat at Mensa. But I understand systematic brutalization is different from a random accident, and people construct/internalize hierarchies of animals on a deep level. I also understand cats as friends and they are high on the chain for me.

When I was a fresh Fabricante there were tiny kittens by the Portineria and we have watched them grow into young adult cats over the past months. There are a few new kittens now that Graziano (guard) pointed out to Hon, Alexis, and me one day.

Jonas and I were walking at night with gelato and the trials, I was explaining how my new style of using only one arm is not only to look cool, but also heal my wing. Deniel was also hit by a car recently. He biked by, saw Jonas, then stopped to walk home with him.

Now that I’m closer to the dead cat than the kittens in Fabricat-years, my relationship with trials is less one of empathetic anxiety for them, but friendly curiosity, I guess. Something like that. Also the one from Seoul, Jang, was super cute and told me I looked like a model. In retrospect I should have tried to steal 1 kiss.

But oh! For those summer nights!


I had the rest of my Alpro brand soya yogurt with 2 dates and some hemp seeds, after running by the river until I saw a cat. (That’s what always determines the length of my morning run).

Bike-dad pumped up Hell-Bat and I rode to Fabrica one-armed with one bottle of prosecco in my bag (Jonas had the other two) (for our Speak Up Monday, which we did over G-Chat, in an endless feedback loop, which was funny).

In the afternoon Alberto said he wanted the interaction designers to make him a system of buttons for his needs “I want George Clooney to deliver my espresso from a gold copter.” It was a problem that I thought that was so funny because it hurts a lot to laugh.

I have 1990’s cool blue and black tunnel-vision animations whenever I close my eyes and it hurts static in the center of my headache. I have drank a lot of water today.


Roberta drove me to the hospital. I ran into Carlo there, who was helping his refugee friend, I don’t remember where he was from. Carlo bought us all brioche and told me about how Benetton actively oppresses the Mapache in Patagonia.

I have a hot new fractured scapula. Doctor said not to use my right arm for 20 days and “ciao” (x20), then held my hands and kissed both my cheeks. Highly recommended experience. Worth the 8 hour wait. Time to do what has always BEEN THE DREAM and get buff in one arm. #summerstyle


This afternoon Alexis and I were talking about how bodies will be flying off bikes, bikes sliding across the pavement, because of how beautiful the jasmine smells.

The scent is precious because it’s fleeting, and also because it’s good. Alexis is leaving soon, and the jasmine essentially her proxy.

At the end of March, Sam said “congratulations” and put white roses on my desk, their scent adding to a dazzling experience of looking through migraine visuals into a last-second grant application, which Juho kindly hand-delivered minutes later in Finland.

At the apex of lilacs in April, Hon and I were the only people in the design department not yet in Milan. The spring bloom was so beautiful it almost made me weep as we biked silently to mensa. A week later, back from Salonè Mobile, they were gone.

Sam is in the studio now and with him came giant vases of lilies. When we walked up the stairs at the same time today I thought about commenting on how the olfactory landscape is always nice when he’s around.

I’ve been ambiently nervous about my future, overwhelmed by the beauty of the people and flowers that surround me, and how all things are fleeting and unknown. I was thinking about all this while riding my bike home. Then I got hit by a car.


Lunch at Avocado, a vegetarian restaurant. Angelo commented it smelled like ginger. I had a kalamata olive oil kale juice and Angelo had the house wine, said it was good, said Mediteranean people love to eat outside and know which wine is good and which wine isn’t.

Public opening. Rooftop beers with a view of Acropolis. Chatting with short and un-sober Beligian guy and clever Italian artist (who made a winky frown rock – artifact from the #postfuture). Cigarettes on “porch” (window ledges outside bldg.) with new Berlin friends.

Acropolis, walking through a park, being stopped by a locked gate, Documenta, Angelo liked the scores by Pauline Oliveros, “Not Just Falafel” where we made friends with the owner, programming at ADAF, rooftop chats, the dancer from the best AV performance telling me I looked like Bowie, sneaking into a house show with Angelo, Partying with the curator at Teddy Bar, dancing hard with Angelo and buying all his ginger ale cocktails (which he later paid back). I’ve noticed Angelo really likes ginger. The curator of ADAF, Elli, noticed that I really like darkwave.