I often have a feeling that everything will end suddenly. I feel powerful “whatever” about it. Just something. Ping pong and paper.  We already put it there.

I don’t feel like I’m one of them, who makes things bad. I don’t think my voice is big enough to make things especially good.

It’s just a black rock, as a metaphor, in a place where no one can see, and that’s how I feel about it.

But focus on the water, and not the rock. The water is more powerful than the rock.

And have a fun time swimming! Whatever! Put a cocacola in your vino and pour it on the rock like: “bad medicine.”

“Hey little avatar, you are looking hot in your jacket, why don’t you take it off?”

No me not me, no me not me, I am always wearing a jacket, I am always moving to Finland. All the NBs in the club put your hands up! (But don’t take your jackets off) (pass out into my arms sweet things)

^So that’s how I was feeling^


It just all settled down, from the back of my head, through my brainstem, my spine. It’s firm black in the centre and with a cascade of blank white. “oh, it’s all going to be okay.” It happened while I was writing about my ideas. 

I know it’s time to go deep into my spine and extend it out my arms. In the evenings, in the sun, and all day. Be alone in here with a powerful intention.