Angelo and I worked on my project, wiring fans and a pump/sensor system, cutting wire mesh in a perfect line with a chisel and a hammer, making a metal bending brake with a piece of wood, a ruler, and some clamps. The flow of work, communicating simply by handing each other tools, reminded me of doing projects with my dad.

It had been raining in the morning and Nicolas called me an idiot when I picked up my sunglasses, then I left them on the table. The sun came out and the clouds were big and tumbling. I walked to mensa with Ali. Everyone in Editorial thinks he’s an asshole at the moment (they’re all working on his project). On the walk back he told me his side of the story and jokingly cried on my shoulder.

Stood in the agora with the film guys, the new music guy, Alberto, and Matteo, all native Italian speakers. They were making fun of Ricky for his E-cigarette I said “No e-cigs are actually really cool” and everyone laughed. Then they taught me how to pronounce “colgione” like an Italian (with my hands).

It was Lorena’s last day, I found out, I signed her poster.

Angelo and I tested the pump/sensor system, it worked. He fetched the last 12L of water, learning of the meditative process of hauling a bucket up 3 flights of stairs. He had people to chase and meetings to accomplish. He was looking stressed and rolling a cigarette, I told him I figured out the problem. We high fived and talked about next steps.


Fabrica emails: fields of gems.

Dear all,

I wish you all a very nice and long blossomed weekend and with this message I also take advantage to remind you the coming up lecture by former Fabricante and Spanish film maker Carlos Casas.

There was also the time the district manager in Ireland accidentally emailed everyone in the company with financial details we weren’t supposed to see. They emailed again that it was a mistake and people from all over the world responded with friendly greetings.

Hello together,
Yes, the wrong address. I am Donato Bortolotto.
Bye Bye
Freundliche Grüße / Kind Regards / Cordiali saluti

Hello everyone!!

Greetings from Paris.

Hi all!!

Ok no problem

Regards from spain

Have a nice day

Hi everybody,

I think that you did’t  wont to write to me.

No problem have a nice day all.

Big hug

Kalimera from Athens Greece!

Moien from Luxembourg

Privet from Moscow!

Ciao from Italy! No worries + have a nice day :)

No problem :)

Greetings from Fabrica.

Buona Giornatta a tutti!

Kind Regards​
The unexpected happy
from china


Went to the hardware store with Angelo, then we shared an umbrella on the way to the bus. It’s pouring rain!

Kamille just went to a meeting about legally changing her name/gender and I told her she was strong and she said she felt weak and I told her to get an ice cream and now I’m like “dang, I want an ice cream.”


I didn’t write my dreams in time to catch them. Fell for the classic trick: “that’s obvious, I’ll remember that.”

Yet another Italian bank holiday.

The good dog was on the stairs but not the nice man. I patted the good dog and went inside with my groceries.

Made Tom Ka Hed. Put together some ideas for my Ssssshut Up Series. Worked on some music.

Kamille messaged. I messaged back.

It started raining. I thought “This is not stereotypical gelato weather” Then thought “The sun will come out and the gelateria will be crowded”

The sun came out and the sky was perfect and I asked Jonas out for gelato.

Jonas was still in Sweden and we chatted for a while.

I made a facebook status about listening to jazz in the afternoon sun, in a clean house, reminding me of my mom. Alexi Mexi commented. 

I made a video of a bug crawling across the table. 

I made spaghetti, verdure mista, and pomodoro for Nicolas and me.

We went out for gelato.


It was some Italian bank holiday.

Worked on my grant proposal.

Wrote several postcards.

Ate lentils and toast, watched Better Call Saul, sent the proposal draft to David Dirks.

Messaged Christian about daily stuff and tru love.

Messaged Noah about fighting Fabrica’s social media team, then chatted about VR raves.

Messaged Fabrica about their errors.

(they posted my interview, omitted the part in “what I miss of home” where I mentioned there only being two genders in Italy, and mis-gendered me when I had clearly specified the language they should use – pretty ironic really, backs up my original point).

Messaged Kamille about not coming to Berlin this month.

Went to sleep. Had a little insomnia.


Showing mom my installation video. Autonomous vapour holograms of people moving around, sitting on stairs.

Waking up like “dang, my projects are better in my dreams.”

Messaged Kendra: “It’s time to go running!”

We did.

I didn’t come to the Damien Hirst exhibit (lol). I worked on my grant proposal. Amazing how long writing your plans/dreams can take. Gotta find all the right words.

Being in the house alone was a treat.

I added several grand to my grant proposal to accommodate me living alone.

Going to sleep I relaxed into the feeling of no one being around. Nothing like it. It felt like a little squiggly purple line unwinding in my upper back.


A website that kept live-data of when people were certain places? You had to login. And the places were ilegal?

Negative space streets of Venice.

I was a tall boy with blond hair.

Woke up at 3:30. Woke up at 6:30. Iphone note dreams, coffee, running by the river with 10m meditation. The rest of the dhal.

Bought the new-used red racing bike. Bike-dad was happy I was happy, I was happy bike-dad was happy I was happy.

Zoomed to fabrica like a hell-bat.

Went to Mensa with Matteo. Talked about music. Just now I put 99 Jakes new release (Stairs Descending Into Heaven) on Matteo’s wall and we are listening to it, loudly, in headphones across from each other, and both of us are laughing about it.


Woke up to a facebook notification of dad tagging me, Noah, and Andrew (cousin) in a comment on mom’s post about how the patriarchy is the root of all problems:

“I was talking this morning about my children’s rejection of binary gender, my model of drag performance and how it had nothing to do with my sexuality and everything to do with my desire to smash the patriarchy.”

Spent some time thinking about how lucky I am to have a hip and understanding family.

I was hungover. Had a wonderful and productive day in spite of this. In a meeting with Marta and Angelo about logistics of Athens we planned a timeline with a photoshoot for press, time for testing the finished piece, etc. Marta is giving us the remainder of the budget for food and transport “let’s make it cushy” she said. “Bring your bathing suit” she said “is that in the budget?” I asked. Marta winked.

At mensa there were crostini with bell peppers, without cheese. #MensaMiracle

Excerpts from ensuing swimwear conversation:

“…I am designing a swimsuit and the question is: turtleneck/long sleeves or topless? Either way it will be some severe-agender-beach-realness.”

C: long footie pants w skinny suspender overall straps.
M: Settled!
C: and maybe like a jodhpuri pant. and i would love to see an adustable epaulet attached to that strap ;)
M: “We’re going to the pool, which color epaulet should I bring?”
C: is this getting too equestrian? aquarian equestrian? SEAHORSE
M: ^Actually the perfect name for this new swimwear line.^
C: AQUAstrian 💀
Kate Bot: Just a body pouch. No discernable form, just limbs poking out.


The skeleton of the Sabatager is in the garage. Both wheels had been stolen by the time I retrieved it, after it broke on the way to my gig at Django. I walked the half hour home, promenading with the felled beast on my shoulder. I didn’t want to deal with explaining the carnage to the bike shop guy this morning – I’m waiting till payday to discuss trading in the frame for a discount on a new used-steed. So I walked to Fabrica, like I do.

When it started hailing I held my shirt over my headphones. It trailed behind in the wind, I was singing along to “Top of the Hill” and feeling epic. A nice Italian woman picked me up. I told her she was a saint and gave her directions to Fabrica. We sang along to “You make me feel like dancing” confirming my ever-growing suspicion that Italians love disco.

My feet remained wet until it was time to walk home. It was a beautiful storm-sky golden-hour. I Wondered if I should get walking potion at Ins, felt I shouldn’t, then did. Nicolas laughed at me. Alexis and Nick came home. Gianni came by to borrow my ipad, give me a chocolate egg, and ask me out for a drink.

We shut Trevisi down. He told me an elaborate and illuminating story of how he cast a girl in a movie, the actor dropped out and Gianni stepped in (kiss scene), then the girl reversed the script, did the same moves he had written, to him, and then they dated for a year. Other than that I explained the word “cisgender” and the concept “nonbinary.” Was a good night!