Rental Winter

Is the culture of cats different in other countries? Like, is does the way we treat cats across cultures affect the way kitties behave, say in meow style?

I worked all day on one of my patches with minimal distraction (save for constantly updating my Spotify playlist based on what was the most danceable). Whenever I solve problems it is in quick flashes of logic. More and more I realize how important taking breaks is for efficiency.


Today I finally raised the seat on Lil’ Jenny Bike. I sat with Isaac, Akanksha, and Antti at Mensa. Isaac asked me about my goth Rihanna cover band.

Like every day, I intended to do P90X in the morning and go to the post office. I almost convinced myself to go to the post office but ended up cleaning the kitchen and painting over a blood stain on the wall instead.

I have felt deeply tired, like almost unable to talk to people for the past few mornings. Last night I got 8 hours of sleep, not even a 3am mosquito interruption. Am I fending off sickness? It is because it is suddenly colder? Have I been doing something differently to my brain-body?

Alexis and I realized that the laundry detergent we have been using is actually dish detergent, which is a classic “I am living in a new country” kind of mistake. It is hard to get the dank smell out of laundry, even with the help of the heater. Maybe using the wrong kind of detergent is related.

I emailed Cutler and Gross twice about the size of screw needed for the model of sunglasses that I just spent a third of a month’s salary on (used, at > 50% off) and now cannot wear because the screw popped out. They did not give me an answer.

I ordered tiny screws for sunglasses repair and none of them worked.

The monitor I bought didn’t work and now I’m late shipping it back. I probably should contact them but they already gave me the address and I don’t want to be told no. I am worried that if I send it it will be very expensive and I won’t get a refund, or it will be impossible. I guess I’ll wait until Saturday to avoid being late for Fabrica.

The crotch of my Nudie Jeans is so blown out from biking that they are ~2 sexy 4 work~. I ordered a repair kit from them but the black denim patch is not as big as the hole. The Chronicles of Never jeans that I ordered from Grailed didn’t show up and Marta helped me track them down. Giovanni gave me a ride to the Villorba post office during a lecture from the Rotterdam kids (who were for some reason around). We got a coffee and I felt phresh for the rest of the day.

I could barely get the pants over my knees but determined that I was going to make them work and did what tru fash1 bros do and took a bath in them. They have stretched around the knees significantly. They are going to work and they are going to be my favorite jeans… damnit.

Though the measurements seemed right, the beautiful Attachment coat I got from Grailed is slightly snug in the shoulders. Japanese tailoring vs. Scandinavian bones, I guess.  I am wearing it anyway because it is cold, and once I re-sell it on Grailed I will give it a hug and thank it for a job well done. Then I’ll use the funds toward the debt from which they came.

Rental winter.

I dearly want to tie up the nuisances around the edges of my existence – like all busy, broke and picky types who just moved across the world, probably.


Something so close to you that it is you (the English language).

I am sitting here in the workshop listening to Laura and Àngeles speak Spanish and it feels homey.

After figuring out increasingly complex patches all day I realize the most simple one I started with is the best.


A string mop is more difficult to clean than it is to clean with, though both are hard.

Today I rode my (Jenny’s) bike with an orchid in the basket, holding a new mop and jousting my way through the gelato-licking masses, in hopes that my life will become more convenient ;)

Clarity is luxury


I am pleasant-level sleepy because instead of asleep by 11 I was on facebook calmly defending trans-identities until 12, and then repeatedly woken up by one humming mosquito.

This French architect just gave a dreamy lecture to a big group of us – Fabricanti and the students from the Netherlands who are around for some reason.

I am learning about using javascript in max to make more detailed generative drawings of migraines. I am floating around on espresso having a feelings of magic love. It’s nice to be me.

Most people don’t believe my gender is real. I don’t believe anyone’s gender is real.


It was super quiet for 7pm at Fabrica, then I discovered that everyone was in a room laughing, eating cheese and christmas breads and drinking. No one I asked knew why.

Angelo told me how to ask if I could get a Prosecco for my friend in Italian, and I brought a glass to the Social campaigns department.

Shek and Jonas were also biking home, I proposed to them that we stop at the little place by Luciano Benetton’s house.

The tiny restaurant was full of Italian men with thick white moustaches. We sat in plastic chairs outside drinking Prosecco as the owner smoked. A person zoomed by on their bike and I commented that they were going fast for not having headphones on. Jonas played a Scooter song from my phone and said you could bike to Fabrica in ten minutes if you were listening to that.

It was misty outside and we saw Akanksha jogging. Then I saw Quenton and someone having an intent conversation at Bottegon but they didn’t see me. The person with whom Quenton was drinking was a dreamy French architect.


I made good vegetable soup and didn’t drink. Nicolas watched Fireworks by Kenneth Anger. Alexis came home and had some of the soup. She read a book and I wrote to my mom about my overdue student loan payment and the debt my gym is trying to collect, even though I cancelled my membership. We were all sitting around the table peaceably when Alexis said “ice cream.”

San Agostino is closed on Mondays, and will soon close for Winter, which has been causing us some grief. We biked five minutes to another place and it turned out they had even more vegan options, and will be open through the season. I had a cone with chocolate amaretto that was deep and rich… like me.


I was out for a spritz with a group of Fabricanti. The air was cool and misty, which contrasted the warm glow of candles on tabletops, and the feeling was relaxed. I woke up to Alexis gently reminding me it was time to get up and told her I had just been with her in the dream. Then I actually woke up and was like “whoa, Inception!”

At lunch Isaac said that now whenever I have a spritz Alexis is going to wake me up.

Midmorning I helped the Maurizio put a thing on top of another thing. The Fabrica store was cleared out and all that remained was a blue dolly with a blue log.


Sylvia said that when you go to Mensa early there is cake. Isaac, Alexis, Coralie and I walked to Mensa talking about how there would not be cake. BUT for the first time ever, in my 1.5 months + two weeks prior,  there was something vegan other than pasta, it was couscous with vegetables. I was elated. For the rest of the day I felt anything was possible.

Angelo did a project where he made up a rumor (the first director of Fabrica was coming back) and told it loudly at the espresso machine, then timed how long it took to get back to him. Our lunchtime gang tried to think of rumors that struck the right balance between outrageous and believable. Here’s what we came up with

  • Alexis making Stefano (IT guy) cry
  • (intern) Giovanni being (CEO) Carlo’s illegitimate child
  • Me being arrested

The people on trial did their presentation and brought Prosecco. We all applauded.

I thought about how the best art is jokes, and how much I love (and have always used) secret notes. When I was on trial I left a note in a drawer, hoping it would become a secret lineage of communication from one trial to the next. Because I live upstairs from the trial flat (and everyone who comes seems to blow out the circuit and then ask for my help) I was able to see that this has come true. This kind of localized communication gave me an idea for an app.

I am excited about developing this idea further, but of course I am already pursuing a big idea. I’m so in the big idea now that I can’t see it now and I have clue what it is about or why I am doing it. Get ur head out of the vapor, child!


I woke up feeling optimistic about the night-spells I sleep-cast for intl.-art-babe-vibes. I spent the morning looking for open calls and Coralie gave me hot tips. The workshop felt lively with people scattered around.

I went to lunch with Social Campaigns and brought pizza back for hard-work-no-break Alexis.

As our posse walked we encountered editorial who were all walking slow in their navy, burgundy, and army peacoats. I proposed the five of us jump on the five of them and piggyback to Mensa.

Standing in line, we talked about how you can feel when someone is looking at you, then each chose someone to stare at.

Another note – you know when you have a chemical-crush on someone to the point where their scent occupies space?


1 Wish

I am too lazy to go through the critical thought it would take to answer a “one wish” type hypothetical question in a clever, righteous, or meta way so I guess that makes me the kind of archetypal character who foolishly uses their one wish to make all water sparkling water.

As I danced/hopped down the stairs at Fabrica to refill my water bottle, I thought “I wish all water was sparkling water” and I looked outside at the rain, wondering if it too would transform. Sparkling rain hits the pavement and oh! What a sound! Can you imagine?

There is free sparkling water with my free lunch at this job where I am working on the type of project I used to work on after work. You can get 1.5L of sparkling water for .15 at the grocery store two blocks from my free apartment.

This is such a long post and if I were scrolling by I would assume it was political. Nope, I just wanted to let you all know that amidst this terrifying civic climate, where everyone is talking about real threats to people’s rights/the environment and what we can do about it, I just used my one wish to turn all water into sparkling water, even though I can already have sparkling water basically whenever I want. You’re welcome!