Things have been everything, as usual, but it feels different when my time here is so finite.
Everyone had an instant crush on Heejin Jang, who made smart music with Max patches. After her show I went upstairs to try at hanging out with friends. It didn’t catch and the vibes were weird.
Feather came with firewood in her toy car. We started the bonfire. She got me going-away gifts and I got weepy. Later in the week she locked herself out of her car and I came to rescue her. Later still, we went out for dinner.
There was small drama, or everyone slipped into a pool of liquor and it was more dangerous for some than others. At the onset (up-until-7am to monitor recovery) I was worried. Then I was exhausted. Then I was days from departure and back to proto party-girl.
Sitting on a concrete floor – “the only avant gardists left.” We crossed through the mirror or whatever, stepped into a perpendicular universe. It was sort of special, sort of intimate, it felt important to be part of this group. It got weird, everyone taking advantage of everyone else. Uneven.
Okay though, good to be open, augmented, vulnerable, and return to baseline. And know your friendships are strong, and flexible.
Bouncing cinder blocks off of a rubberband.