Dry High

I woke up to have some of the French fries they were offering on the airplane, but found we hadn’t yet taken off (and no one had any French fries). 

Concept: someone does something on an airplane

They handed out chocolate covered wafers and I held mine, so confused, eventually deciding It was fine to eat a non-veegs tr33t because it won’t make a difference and it doesn’t matter, and then I didn’t eat it.

The taste of a “premium German beer” from the thin lip of a #5 plastic cup and the sun coming through my bottle-green glasses. It’s a dry sort of high, all wheat-colored and the memories are playing because this time I cheated.

After a gate change, we were all standing on the bus and not rubbing our shoulders for like half an hour as a man in the coolest outfit put yellow tape on some small door on the outside of the plane. “At least he doesn’t have to tape the big door” someone said. We all laughed and took pictures.

The woman next to me spoke so rapidly in German and I smiled at her so big. The Australian priest by the window made some joke and I laughed so big.

As the plane is landing the sun is strobing warm light on my black lap.

Happy Celebrity Go Crazy with Foodstamps

It was time for another going away party (this time for real). Everything for dinner for 27 of my closest friends ;)

14 pizzas, let the dough rise on the table under red napkins while making the sauce, deep and herbaceous.

Sweeping Momo, under newly torn out carpet, out of newly torn down wall. Benjamin Oliver gave me a Topo Chico. Crockett made a table out of things. We snapped together Sport Court.

And when the pizza was done everyone was there and everyone brought champagne and beer and homemade holograms, ceramics, and monochrome Mallplex and dead roses and polaroids and sparkling water.

I wanted to spend an hour thanking each person.

Instead I left the country.



After party – we all migrated to Angelo’s studio. Did whatever. Listened to music. I made myself the last person there. “I could leave, or we could make out.” We both stood up. I pushed Angelo against a wall.

In bed, I said something about how it is easier to be forward before leaving the country. 

“Let’s fall in love”
“In four days?”
“Ten minutes.”

I climbed on top of him. We looked in each other’s eyes. Smiled and giggled. Talked about sunglasses.

Morning sunbeams infused with Angelo’s perfume.


I went to see Kristen’s performance and pick up all the rip-stop nylon that the Joann’s in Albuquerque had. Kristen, Jesse and I went to an Pan Asian vegetarian restaurant in a strip mall. Kristen did pull ups on a bar mounted from the ceiling at Gold house. We brought noodles back to Bella at Gold House. Kristen and I hugged in the street. 

I dropped the nylon off with Sarah and went off to meet with MC and go to Darcy’s party. Darcy said she feels like we’re family, like I’m her cool younger cousin. A hairdresser came in and offered MC and me weed. We drank an orange liqueur drink that Darcy made outside. I got hugs from the people I grew up seeing at the parties my dad brought me to. Ramon, Ramon’s son. A tipsy older guy named Pedro told jokes and laughed uproariously. We made facebook friends and it turns out he’s insufferable. 

Angelo, Noah and Emma came, Noah did hype as men played harmonica, Noah walked out of the party with a bottle of wine.


From 8am my buzzing list was an ocular migraine, black coffee in a green cup and a closed-eye couch-conversation with Alexi Mexi. The colors were green heavy, saturated, with blue and yellow zig-zags – not as astounding as last Saturday’s combinations.

Last Saturday’s migraine was striking: deep, underlit navy with near-white sage, lines of hot pink and neon yellow, forest green outlines and strobing red segments. Before forming a typical halo the shapes danced together like plant cells or organic underwater interpretations of baroque jewels.

When I was done with my migraine I had toast and my mom made me Irish breakfast tea with soymilk. “I could guzzle this stuff down” she said.

Fedex came to the open door and handed me my visa. My mom commented: “you look like Gumby.”

Last week everyone tried on my Han Kjobenhavn sunglasses, and they looked especially good on Sarah. I had ordered new ones after deciding that my old (new) ones were permanently lost. I had left them at Rodney Mullen’s birthday party house, texted everyone to ask for them back, and left a note at the house to no avail. Then, just now, they found them, and I get to give them to Sarah! I went to a film office and found them in a box in a hallway. Also in the box was a bottle of sparkling water.

I went to Trader Joe’s to buy sparkling water and beer. I drank nearly the whole bottle of Gerolsteiner while driving to the food stamps office and my phone (who was telling me how to get to the office) ran out.

I went home, made quinoa with vegetables, and looked for flights to Italy as my phone charged. I called the food stamps office, saying it had been 14 days since they said they sent me the EBT card. They said they hadn’t sent me an EBT card, and that their office was closed.

I went to Meow Wolf and finished charging my phone, walking in the rain with Sarah and Benji. They got food at Lulu’s Chinese, made small talk with the Russian waitress, and tried not to touch the glowing orb in the little plastic fountain.

I ate the second half of yesterday’s Jerk tofu sandwich and we all drank beer until it was my turn to use the laser cutter.


For the past two weeks I have been working 7-12 hour days as part of Sarah’s Meow Wolf costuming effort. This means I hang out with my friends and solve creative problems all day. We have dance breaks to go with our lunch breaks.

As the day goes on Benji and I become more prone to chanting. Last week, after we finished walking the dragon across the street we yelled “Ding da ding ding! Ding da ding ding ding” and we both knew what it meant! And it was easy to peer pressure one another into drinking a beer while painting outside. And the fridge, of course, was full of beer.

I have been having Adobe Illustrator dreams and an easy time collecting migraines. I sold my futon and credenza, then slept on the not-yet-sold bed frame. I have been getting excited about getting excited about moving out of the country.

Sarah is the best boss, she communicates the right amount, and gives me appropriate creative control. She also gave me a raise. “You can name your Italian bike Sarah” she said. She bought us jerk-tofu sandwiches and we kept the laser cutter company.


Things have been everything, as usual, but it feels different when my time here is so finite.

Everyone had an instant crush on Heejin Jang, who made smart music with Max patches. After her show I went upstairs to try at hanging out with friends. It didn’t catch and the vibes were weird.

Feather came with firewood in her toy car. We started the bonfire. She got me going-away gifts and I got weepy. Later in the week she locked herself out of her car and I came to rescue her. Later still, we went out for dinner. 

There was small drama, or everyone slipped into a pool of liquor and it was more dangerous for some than others. At the onset (up-until-7am to monitor recovery) I was worried. Then I was exhausted. Then I was days from departure and back to proto party-girl.

Sitting on a concrete floor –  “the only avant gardists left.” We crossed through the mirror or whatever, stepped into a perpendicular universe. It was sort of special, sort of intimate, it felt important to be part of this group. It got weird, everyone taking advantage of everyone else. Uneven. 

Okay though, good to be open, augmented, vulnerable, and return to baseline. And know your friendships are strong, and flexible.

Bouncing cinder blocks off of a rubberband.

Ambient Pleasant

Mom said to get up because they were inspecting the house for mold, I was looking into pockets for more vivid dream bytes. I had just been looking up at the seemingly endless escalator into the sky at Fabrica. I was thinking about how Fabrica is a symbol of ascent in my dream world.

The landlord’s wife asked if I am living here, I said yes for the time as  I am supposed to be in Europe. She wore a light sweater and light pink glasses that went well with her complexion and white hair. We talked about neuroscience.

My pleasant ambient feeling was only amplified when I checked my email and discovered my visa issues have magically dissipated, I will be in Italy in a month!

Caw and Order

I found myself on a road trip with friends. Benji and I climbed up the poles at a gas station, turned into crows, and flew around making excellent noises.

Later, waiting outside a party, I transformed into an armadillo and hid in the grass until it was time to go back to my human form and dance like a snake to “the new PC Music track.”





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Pet Spider’s perfect profile: 

My self-summary

apples, almonds, meat, sweetener tabs, coffee, club soda, pineapple juice, wine, lemons, green leaves, body lotion, soap,

with banana slices,

& throw your cigarette into the street, & walk away.

What I’m doing with my life

going badly, in a dry climate, with a sweet intention.

I’m really good at


The six things I could never do without

moody, dark, handsome, tormented, infatuated, idealistic.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

23, 33, 2009, beach, bleachers, branches, cleaning my room, dreams, driving, drowning, eating a light snack, five hundred miles a week, hanging blue lights, infectious, in her sleep, love object, wearing an avocado necklace.

On a typical Friday night I am

with a wilted bouquet of Eucalyptus leaves, with Diana Ross, with an empty water bottle, with a tire iron, with a paper grocery bag, with a crumpled receipt.

You should message me if

you’re a grubby Venus de Milo.

Pet Spider messaged me on Tinder with the same timestamp that I messaged her on OKC. I said “Poem” she said “Number” we met at the big metal industrial sculpture and drank Prosecco under a rainbow, in a storm, at sunset, under her umbrella.