Mean Monday

I felt aggressively bored at/after work. When I got home my CalArts acceptance letter was in the mailbox. I put the sticker that came with it on the dehydrator. Noah and I giggled about how the Dehydrator displays the taste of someone less cool than us, but still pretty cool, who we would probably enjoy hanging out with.

We watched Better Call Saul at mom’s. I noted waves of depression and didn’t feel talkative.

It started to rain outside. Mom was excited and went to stand in it. I was staring into space, playing with my hair and mom said: “I love you M” It was so pure.

As we waited for our sheets to dry I worried aloud about Financing life outside of grad school in Finland and if it is actually not smart for me to go to Finland (do I deserve what I want if I cannot afford what I want?). Noah talked about not feeling any long term goal aside from leaving Santa Fe. By the end of the chat I think we all felt better.

Noah and I went to get beer for Sean and had fun doing doughnuts in the parking lot. I had excessive energy and was getting urges to casually knock things over, with a benevolent Pipilotti Rist sort of feeling. A cashier who Noah described as a “critical-minded free-thinker” was rattling out buzzwords and we spent the car ride home making fun of him.

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