After 30 hours of X sleep, but plenty of thinking, I arrived in Venice. I got my passport stamped, admired the industrial design in the bathrooms, and took a swig of duty-free Russian vodka.

Venice Water Taxi

Googs instructed me to get off a water taxi at Ospidale. Meandering through the hospital and across myriad canals I was led to a final tiny alleyway. The only people around at midnight were smooching each other.

A door with an iron handle demarcated what the map said was my hostel. I buzzed and the door opened into a dark room with a marble floor and a single chair. Further on, there were stairs – also dark. I used my airplane-mode-phone-flashlight to ascend 3 flights, at the top of which I found a closed door. It was unlocked and I was greeted by a well-dressed young man. The hostel room had six beds, a sparkling floor, and panoramic views of Venice rooftops. In the morning the well dressed young man gave me a small pitcher of coffee and a basket of pastries. I noted to facebook: “So far the only thing I have said is “grazie” because all Italians are psychic and just hand me what I need.”


A vendor handed me an umbrella as I walked through the rain looking for lunch. At a tiny restaurant I asked what was vegan the owner said “anything you want.” Then, because he was also psychic he said: “If you feel like a pasta dish I can use smoked seitan and a spicy tomato sauce.”

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It was valentine’s day, so it’s possible that the amount of people smooching was higher than normal, then again maybe that’s how it is in Venice. For dinner I went to Pinzimonio and laughed about being the only english-speaker and the only person not on a date. An appetizer of carrots, celery, cauliflower and some sort of fuchsia turnip were placed on the table along with a creamy sauce. The vegetables alone were astounding. Before leaving for Italy I had joked about trying pasta there for the first time and realizing everything I love is a lie. It turns out I went to Italy, tried vegetables for the first time, and realized everything I love is a lie.

I selected a Saffron rice dish with seasonal vegetables and crumbled nuts. I was pleasantly surprised by the addition of juniper berries, whose bitterness blended artfully with my IPA. When asked about dessert I ordered a slab of cake with rose petals and heart-shaped chocolates alongside a perfect espresso. By the end of the meal I found I could speak Italian.

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if anything


The airline procedures on Aeroflot are all in slow motion and exalt beautiful, smiling stewardesses interacting with young children. Oddly enough this is pretty much the scene around me on the airplane.

A flight attendant said something in Russian, pushing a cart of drinks and I said: “red wine?” She poured the wine into a paper cup that depicted a sea of blood with the Coca Cola logo floating above.

A food cart made its way down the alley and the stewardess looked at me quizzically, then said “vegetarian?” I emote vegetarianism. Resting vegan face.

With 3 hours before my flight I tracked down a vegan restaurant. This required that I leave the airport and go through security at a different terminal. I won many points in LAX’s platform game of “Vegan Separatism.”

I think to myself: “should I feel nervous?” then sit back in my pervasive sense of calm. There is something about travel that makes me feel inordinately relaxed. (I am also the type of person who routinely misses flights).

I am having a pleasant time laying my thoughts out across the “Notes” app. As always, the onboard wifi doesn’t work and all my pre-loaded articles have been replaced with a smiling Russian stewardesses (clones, like nurse Joy and officer Jenny). They are so beautiful. I dropped my toy truck in the aisle – flight attendant Roxana picked it up and smiled at me. later, as I was sleeping, flight attendant Roxana pulled a blanket over me. As the airplane crashed into the sea, flight attendant Roxana put her oxygen mask on before assisting me with mine.

Pokemon metaphors are vital. The most important thing to think about is how I am like a Magikarp, and how I have to focus on swimming up that waterfall. One thing that is really boring to think about is that I lost and/or used all my fake money. I’m in debt around $6000 between car repairs, airline tickets (not refunded by insurance), Airline tickets (new), and dental surgery. I just can’t get myself to particularly care. It will take me > 6 months to pay it all back with current wages at full time but I also feel the time to quit my job is nigh.

Yes, it is time to move to a new place by myself and quit my job. Both unreasonable things to do in the perspective of money, though more and more money is a construct I don’t really get… pun intended.

The other day Lynn said something about how I “wouldn’t understand” because I’m “not a capitalist.” It’s true – at home Noah and I sit around and invent communism all day (how lazy).  Mom says “there is a lot of money in the world, I hear.” I’ve heard that too. More importantly, there are the things that we physically need to survive – like this fruit cup!

I am delighted my airline breakfast: potatoes, spinach, and whole little mushrooms, bread, fruit, and tea. A side dish had kiwi, melon and pineapple cut into tiny pieces with cilantro. A lemon wedge, lettuce, tomato, and an artichoke heart decorating the top. A combination I’ve not encountered before – wonder what it was alluding to, if anything


The (old, fat) man next to me on my first flight had just stayed up until 4 losing his money in the casino. That made me think: “I should try gambling.” Ha ha ha ha ha. The man also talked about Himalayan salt (wondered where he could get some), coconut water, how he doesn’t like the Chinese because they drive badly, and how he is fine with all types of people, but queers shouldn’t be allowed to display public affection because it makes him feel uncomfortable. Every time I argued with one of his points he pretended not to hear me (maybe he was actually unable to hear me). At the end of the flight he asked “what do you call a toothless bear?”

walk bike sing

Picking up my backpack before leaving the country my car broke down. Mom was downtown and gave me a jumpstart. A woman drove up, expressing seething hatred toward us. Mom patiently waved for her to go around. The woman’s exasperation was at a peak as she finally drove around. I laughed and jumped and flipped her off. By the time I got to mom’s house the coolant was boiling and smoke was emanating from the hood.

I did my laundry and printed my itinerary.

Red Cell is moving to Istanbul so Noah and I traveled the 10 feet to his party at Ikonic. I walked to the Allsup’s, intending to return with whiskey in my pocket to share with C. Instead it was 8 pm and I rode my bike to Jess’s, singing along to Rhianna as I pedaled uphill.

Among other things, I was enchanted by Jess’s book organization/collection, and their routine of shaving their legs and making sourdough on Sundays.

We went for a walk, talked about how art is bad, didn’t get drinks, and made out. I rode home, singing along to Ic3peak.


Raylets is a perfect, understated show. After saying hi to everyone I know (everyone), I suggested to Jess (profoundly attractive date) that we go to my house for tea and cake. I excelled at awkwardness as a t33n party developed around us.

Standing in the hallway, MC offered that this was an in between space. Jess went to the bathroom and I approached the group amassed in the studio: “I wanna make out what do I do?” I was headed to the kitchen for a drink when Sean picked me up, wrestled me into the hall, and blocked me from leaving.

Jess rejoined me post-battle and I sidled up like a mangy cat – “um… Would you like to make out?” They nodded and we walked shoulder to shoulder down the narrow hall.

cake and

Tuesday morning I developed a dazzling migraine and didn’t go to work. I was worried about taking this additional time off – which made the migraine worse. Instead of being in trouble, I was taken out for drinks. Lynn and Ysidro brought me a cake.

Ysidro: “you know how every day at 4pm you comment about how you would like a beer and a cake?”

Me: “!!!”

We gave our server some cake and he comped my beers.

Lynn made a toast, saying she appreciates my oddness and convictions – even if it means I don’t really fit into the work-culture. I love my advanced capitalist family.

I surprised Bea at her going away party. A pit bull puppy followed some guests and we called him “#BadBitchRiRi.” Ysidro and Miles ended up making a home for him.

C came and went, and it occurred to me that I would like to make out with C.

I walked to the Bowie party down the street, and after saying hi to everyone I know (everyone) I cornered C on the porch.

C: “MC squared?”
Me: “probably M+C, unless we are talking about parallel universes”
Shayla: “I am going to go inside and you two can talk about post-art”
Me: “Wanna make out?”

Pushing one another against walls, limbs variously entwined, I wondered why we hadn’t done this before.

C: “I wonder why we haven’t done this before.”

Xtian texted me: “Ice slab Ice Slab Ice Slab!” (Ice slab being the bed I sleep on).

Noah and I were recently talking about how making out is like beer – people are often happy to accept it when offered.

My make-output has gone up 100% this year over last, and it is only February. As I explained (over high fives) to Cole, “I am blossoming into a beautiful slut.”