~Home~ <3

Getting home from LA, house smells like beer, Noah had mopped 3 times (that day), still dried marshmallow scuzz on floor. T33n party, take the GRE, t33n party, clean house (only I can do this). Laundry room destroyed again. Vomit on blankets. T33n party.1426209_10153790523445505_8270469231921031094_n


Grad school deadline, heater knocked over on foot, give advice to t33ns (college would be fun for you). Kisses on the cheek from the most wasted t33ns at the t33n party.

Dead bird on porch has been placed in a ham sandwich: sculptural ashtray. Bird smells bad in the day, when she thaws… but SHE NEVER WAKES UP! A Shopping cart has found its way into the yard.

Christian and Marie Claire come over. Fonzi, Christian and Marie Claire come over. I clean the house (only I am capable of this). The recycling is comical. The Recycling doesn’t get taken out. I didn’t do it because I overslept (t33n party).


2nd Grad school deadline. T33n party. When I got back from LA (before which I had deep-cleaned house) I left instructions for how to clean house (not followed). Mailman offended by dead-bird smell, still leaves me 20 computer fans and 2 ultrasonic sensors. Renting a bending brake in Rio Rancho and learning to weld via credit card debt (haven’t been paid back for rent or bills for a while). Plane tickets also on credit card debt. Future me is going to be mad at current me.

Got a copy of my diploma attested for Aalto university application. Car tire blew out driving home. Pulled over and changed tire – they attach the bolts pneumatically so it took Considerable muscle to get them off. Cold hands lifting my car on its little jack with the wrong tool (a small bolt, for leverage).  The doughnut went totally flat driving across the parking lot. I walked home, carrying my diploma, the attested copy of my diploma, and a six pack. A dog started following me. It was funny.

Earlier that day, Dion had left 20+ post-its on my desk that each said: “PLUM WINE.” He was waiting at my house, we went to three stores that didn’t have plum wine.

Next day, late for work because the post office said they couldn’t send something to Finland. They kept giving me the wrong forms and finally said they didn’t have the right envelope. When I told them I was late for work and didn’t have a car they taped it in an over-large envelope. They bought burritos from a woman selling them from a little cooler. 

I am enabling the teen parties? Yes, because I am paying most of the rent and all of the bills. I am also lessening my chances of graduate school via being distracted and kept up late. After work the following day, knowing I was pushing up against my next deadline I joked “bar?” Tina and I went out. Tina offered for me to live with her. I said: “When can I move in?”

Goo World

Sarah used her airline points to get us tickets to LA (lucky!).


Getting up at 4:30am what I wanted was just a cold brew coffee with coconut-based ice cream in there, cacao nibs up top – get the little lady started. Portobello tempeh-bacon cashew-cheese chile burger with a salad and fried artichoke hearts to go with the coffee. That and a sunlit-trip to China town galleries with Raven, a free visit to botanical gardens via reciprocal museum-pass, and pizza delivered to the bungalow with some friends and beers, and a talk on psychic dogs at a bar, followed by a noise show. 



Studying for the GRE before anyone else got up, I discovered a coffee date almost by accident because LA is easy. Museum of Jurassic technology was a magical process of discovery, and also free due to having been a museum guide. At a thrift store I found $200 Italian trousers, pockets not yet seam-ripped, that fit me perfectly: $18. Venice beach was down the street. We ran straight into the ocean – me: skinny jeans and turtleneck, Crocket: underwear. We walked around for a couple hours after that, picturing life on scooters by the beach, trick-or-treating for cocktails at the houses of the wealthy. Cold butts, but easy-cold, like 50 degrees fahrenheit.


Skyping with Emily/Benji in future-time (Hong Kong) and getting a virtual tour of part of the city, Crocket and I drank 4Loko. At a NYE party we played tag with Brendan and Alanna. They have to come back to Fe to get us back.


For New Year’s Day we had Pho with Everything is Terrible, after a look at his upstairs China Town studio (where they rented him out, and he was counting hundreds of Jerry Maguire VHSs). Everything at Ph0 87 had beef, pork, chicken, or shrimp, except the vegan pho – which was excellent – as was the coconut cream and red bean drink.



I found a cutie – “Yin” asked them “Beach?” to which they replied “yuh.” We didn’t manage to coordinate outside of a text-chain, but nice to know I have game in a place where there is one.


At the second beach, Point Doom, we hiked down some cliffy-landscape. Crocket and I went swimming in the waves at sunset ~ perfect hair forever ~ Sarah and Sandra opened the matte black champagne bottle and we drank on the sand till it was dark.

The .99 store has those $6 lettuce bins, but fresh, for.99. Also everything else. Move to LA, get part time work at MOCA and foodstamps, spend them at .99 store –  start an illegal taco stand and make a killing (vegan killing). “Taco Beast” a reference to Taco Bell if Taco Bell is Taco Belle: Taco Belle and the Taco Beast.

Flagstaff Arizona at The Monty, where it turned out Crocket and I had both gone on tour, we walked to the vegan curry place and cursed the parking. Sitting in the “most haunted” hotel room, we all talked ~the feelings~ and ~the thoughts~ I realized I have never heard Sandra say anything negative. She makes clear statements, well thought out, and compassionate, about every subject. I aspire to her outlook, and communication skills. I aspire to be like my friends in many ways, Sarah for her observant/critical nature and limitless kindness, Crocket for perseverance, outlook, and getting shit done.

On the road trip back we ate limitless snax from .99 store. A trucker told me she liked my hair, said she would let her son cut her hair after seeing my do. Crocket said: “Why didn’t you leave with her? Free U.S. tour!



I wasn’t getting my arduino patch to work so I decided to do something easy and wire computer fans. Once that was done I needed to build a little water-vapor machine, but the styrofoam box I had found in the backyard was a too small. I took a dull kitchen knife to carve out the inside and cut my knuckle. Noah was in the bathroom, where I thought some bandages might exist, so I sucked the blood from the cut for a few minutes and thought about what I should do next.

Noah got out of the shower and I ran a bath with as much hot water as I could get (about ⅓ of the tub), trimming my pubic hair as the water ran, thinking that the action may be futile, but how nice would it be to get laid in the near future? I Don’t know.  

The bath got cold quickly and the paper-towel/tape around my cut became inefficient. The little drops of blood were beautiful falling  and spreading in the water.

The towel was wet so I danced around and mopped up the blood that was still falling from my hand with toilet paper. I finally wrangled a bandage around the cut and stood in front of the heater, where my wardrobe was drying. (Today I figured out that I could hang my wet clothing from magnets on the Monster, and that is more efficient than using the broken dryer).

This morning I had a dream Romy was in town. She sat on some flat tan rocks. It was sunny and there were pools of water nearby. She was shirtless. I was so excited to see her! I kissed her cheeks and neck endlessly.

After sitting by the heater for (X) I wrote to Romy and caught up on my journal.

I brought Bea a “kit” (flowers and the vase she had left at my house). We all drank Modelos and ate curry. It was just like the summer in that things felt fun and Lucas and I were topless. Lucas’ haircut was a community endeavor. I took his ponytail to put in our shrine along with the “girl hair.”


When I visited Kristen in New York in 2008 she had so much work to do, end of semester style. She lived on 4 hours of sleep a night and we slept together on her twin dorm bed.

We were at the big dining hall, having breakfast one day and as I poured cereal into a bowl she started chanting: “you are a bachelor, you can have as much cereal as you want, you can have as much sex as you want!” We jumped around and laughed.

We have had this bag of puffed millet at my house for several months. Tonight I came home late, poured hot sauce on a cup of it, and thought about that moment.