Me, I’m

I love swiping across cracks on my age-old phone. My signature is the motion of a pocket ripped by iphone-drops.

I am someone who has a phone. The dentist is surprised at how cracked it is and I’m like: “You are filling the whole in my jaw bone, where there is no tooth, and you are surprised my phone is cracked?”

My thinking is 40% or so of people have fake front teeth. I am one of the few who is not lying about it and I am fashion-as-fuck. There’s line out the door.

Can’t read your texts though: my screen is broken.

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