Just now I caught up to the perpetual anniversary of sadness that marks itself subconsciously.
On Hoku’s Facebook are sparsely-placed months of posts from parents, occasionally disrupted by a friend. Today I wrote: “A feeling!” Not even an inside joke with the dead.
My ~Temple Sit ~ dogs woke me up during a REM cycle and as the cat clawed my chest I went back under that golden-lit archway thinking “ha ha ha ha, Mcdonald’s uses subconscious multichannel-marketing to make me feel nostalgic about the dead!”
But you know it was a serious and heavily-symbolic dream about Hoku’s death, and now I remember that the anniversary is eminent.
So I wrote on Hoku’s dad’s wall about the dream, you know… hoping to make him cry, if that’s not what he was doing already.
“I had a dream you, Hoku and I were walking to the airport. It was the golden sun of evening. You told Hoku to go where he was headed, and that we needn’t know where that was. Giant concrete arches demarcated where we would part ways. Hoku went through the gate to the left, you and I went through the gate to the right.”