I keep my Knife Sharp

Sunday 4/20/14

* Woke up and mom was already making the burritos I was making.
* Most likely due to that, we were on time to pick up Andrew and Jamie and drive to Denver.
* Drove to Denver.
* Jamie asked at the hotel about good beer nearby, and the concierge gave us eight coupons for free beers.
* Drank a free beer at a cheesy place near the hotel. Actually it was barley wine. It was a little one-note for craft barley wine, but very good for free craft barley wine.
* Andrew looked for sushi on his iPhone while I looked for vegan restaurants on my iPhone.
* Noah and I walked for a half hour to a vegan restaurant that ended up being closed. We saw a lot of people with dumb graphic t shirts and shorts. We started playing a game where if we saw anyone who looked like we would want to hang out with them we would earn a point.
* We shopped at Safeway, getting apples, carrots, oranges “hot” salsa, sweet potato chips, and tall cans of IPA. The IPA was weak -sort of like licking receipt paper.
* We sat on some concrete blocks. I drank some of the “hot” salsa, which was more like a cold soup. The chips were almost as good as they were overpriced.
* Back at the hotel we found an all-night pizza place that had vegan cheese.
* We talked to a few homeless people while waiting for our pizza.
* On the hotel TV we watched a show about 3d printing organs to live forever or something. Also uploading consciousness to computer and Oculus Rift stuff. It was interesting, but not very in depth seeing as it was a shitty TV show.
* Put some essential oils in my nose and went to sleep.

Monday 4/21/14

* Angelo was saying something to me in a white room. I don’t remember what we were talking about. I invariably have vivid dreams featuring the color white when I use my “sweet dreams” essential oils.
* Woke up at 8:30 to Andrew and Jamie leaving to get a complimentary breakfast at a different hotel. They invited me and I would have gone except for that there’s nothing I hate more than getting up too early or continental breakfast.
* Got up and was startled by bright light of bathroom as compared with dark room.
* Drank magnesium-tap water and thought about my big dumb project, ordering some spray glue and velcro.
* Andrew and Jamie came back and left again.
* Noah and I walked to museum, museum was closed, walked to vegan food truck, vegan food truck did not exist.
* Noah wanted to go into a vase store. We went into the vase store and Noah liked it.
* Found an Indian restaurant, ate there, it was good.
* Bought water and lip balm from a woman with abstract nails.
* Hotel room, Adventure Time, looked for a coffee shop that had “almond milk” in reviews.
* At a coffee shop with house-made almond milk, minimal design, white marble, glass, metal, naturally shaped polished wood table tops. Best latte I’ve ever had. Writing about it now. Jazz is playing.


* Walked to a liquor store that said: “Sewage smell exist, if u can’t handle don’t come in.” Bought some tequila and hid it in the tequila pocket of my backpack.
* Waited in line for The Knife, eating an apple and drinking tequila until I had to pee.
* Jamie and Andrew arrived. I gave them some of the raw almond crackers I had in my backpack, Jamie said they tasted just like spicy Cheese Its. (By the way I am Tao Lin circa Shoplifting from American Apparel right now).
* Went to a liquor store to pee.

* “stop peeing you bastard man.  it move” Noah texted me.
* I leapt into the venue, so excited that my feet didn’t touch the ground.

* Noah and I waited outside the tour vans and chatted with a guard. “The Knife’s biggest fan”  who was wearing a Dinosaur Jr. shirt, came and joined us, and talked baout how he was The Knife’s biggest fan. I told him I was The Knife’s biggest fan and that I would kill him.

* Jamie and Andrew came out with their plastic parrot and we all wrote Knife references on it “If I was a bird” “Comb your hair with my peak” etc. Noah drew two dicks, two holes, and three pouches, or something like that, in reference to a poem one of The Knife had recited, and wrote “Armadillo” across its wings. Later we gave our (stepped on, goofy) fan-art to some of the people who were on the road with The Knife, and talked to a few of the members. Apparently they had been getting trashed at Marble Brewery in Albuquerque on Sunday, and we sorely regretted not being there to invade their privacy.


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