Junior Fauxdult

Living the life of a fauxdult it makes sense that suddenly my only cup is a martini glass. It may have replaced human clavicles as the perfect thing to drink cocktails from; it has also claimed a role as the best vessel for watering plants. It’s satisfying to dump water evenly into a potted plant from a martini glass.

It’s triumphant to have the power to make yourself a delicious meal when you have a cold. Halloween is so important to me that when I realized I had been struck with the cold spiraling in my vicinity, I stayed up nearly 24 hours two days in a row instead of resting. I awoke from the tail end of these adventures saturated with dreams of family and home, with a craving for green chile soup and cornbread.
In one dream I was grocery shopping and there were these raspberries that were as big as apples. Their colors were nearly seeping out of their skins for how ripe and juicy they appeared. I wanted to try one so badly but didn’t have enough money. A girl at the register was pulling out stacks of American hundred dollar bills and saying she didn’t have very much money left. I reflected on how much money remained to my name and figured it to be about $2.30 – just enough for a train to the city. When I woke up I found out I was correct. Because I didn’t have bread I didn’t enjoy my usual breakfast of vegemite on toast. Instead I made spicy lentil soup and felt proud of myself for being such a clever fauxdult.

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