Water Pong

Arriving at unit 49 one day, I was informed we have a new roommate, who is also American. We all groaned. When he met us he also seemed disappointed, and we discovered he is a bio-major baseball-player named Matt. After some time hanging out together I realize he is a practitioner of ironic sarcasm and we’re going to get along great.

While my flatmates bonded over hotboxing the room next door, I drew pictures of different anatomical regions of the brain, with descriptions of known functions. When I felt cold I washed my backpack in warm water (I spilled chile sauce all along the inside) and toweled off my sticky headphones and ipod.

The water was so nice I got in too. Because I was so clean and good looking, I decided to run some errands I had been putting off, and walked to the shopping centre where my new bank is to verify my address. Then I was overcome by anxiety and left.

When I got back I called Noah, figuring 1am at home (4pm Australian time) was not unreasonable. It had stopped raining and I still needed to check internet for the day, so I walked to the library. I realized I had forgotten my student Id with my login information.

It started raining again. An Aussie boy asked if I was going to the village and if I wanted to walk under his umbrella. I was enjoying our chat, but we got to my flat, so I gathered my ID and umbrella and walked back to the library to check my 54 Facebook notifications. Noah had written so many funny comments that I disturbed the peace in the library with laughter.

Pt 2

Sandra, a Boston gymnast of Greek descent with ADHD, called me. I had been wondering if she’s doing all right, having been abandoned by her flatmates, so I invited her to dinner. She showed up at the library and talked about the things she had bought.

Sandra questioned why I am not a big theatre person, since I seem so eclectic otherwise. Since this was about the 4th time she’s asked, I merely said: “Because theatre is uncool.” It was barely raining, but we still had umbrellas, so she sang a boisterous rendition of Rihanna’s “Umbrella” complete with a musical-theatre vocal affect, followed by something from Hair. Hair, she says, is an excellent musical. Sandra changed and came back wearing six inch heels holding a laptop with which to blast brostep, and vodka.

I made spaghetti and salad as Sandra tried to share her vodka with my flatmates, who were sipping whiskey through party straws. Sandra talked about being a “Vodka girl” and enlightened us on the properties of another favored liquor of hers called “Ouzo.” We each had several helpings of dinner to the soundtrack of Sandra counting calories.

Everyone went to a party at 69, which is the apartment I was accidentally given a key for on my first day here, and it was packed. There was a Woolworth’s shopping cart with a leopard print umbrella outside as decoration. Sandra announced that she is a “vodka girl” to those drinking other beverages, …”vodka and Ouzo, Ouzo is a Greek liquor that’s amazing.

Fellow student Mary Kate motioned to my thermos cup and said: “Nice!” so I offered her a sip of my hot chocolate and she said she was already drunk, I repeated: “would you like a sip of my hot chocolate?” Its a great joke to brink hot chocolate to a party.

Because of new rules set in place by management, drinking games were banned, so people at this party were playing: “Water Pong” which is: “not a drinking game, just sport.” I’ve never played pong (outside of a screen) either way and tried a couple of throws in between rounds, but was unsuccessful. Its difficult because the ping pong ball is so light, and the clear plastic cups (not the archetypal red plastic cups you were picturing) are also light.

Next to me Sandra was telling a German guy about how she’s a “Vodka girl,” I was glad to see she was making friends. I left the party then so I could have a skill-building montage at home, and come back to beat them all with my Water Pong skills. I had it to where I got the ball in about 60% of the time, right and left handed, and then went to sleep.

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